the cold hard truth...the things that you'd rather not say about MS

I am learning that there are a lot more ways this disease is going to effect me...some of which you just really don't want to even talk about...with anyone. Lately, I feel less in control of my body and my mood. I may want to do certain things but I find myself thinking about how long I'm going to pay for doing them. I having trouble relaxing...I'm exhausted both physically and mentally. I'm crying even more often than I already did (which is terrible because I cried a lot to begin with)...I'm doing this in the shower now to avoid awkward moments with my boyfriend and my beautiful one year old who worries herself sick when I even seem upset. I want to run from any intimate contact because no matter how bad I'd love it to happen...it hurts, and if it doesn't hurt too bad at the time, it will hurt after. I'm turning down things I love to do because of the consequences. I'm holding my son less than I held my daughter because my arms just can't handle it. Life has changed...and the cold hard truth is I'm struggling, but I feel like I shouldn't talk about it because in a way I'm embarrassed. These are things I shouldn't have a problem with yet...and facing that I do is tricky. Trying to hold my head high...