I'm back again...certainly not skipping but traveling along this road called life just the same. I received my discharge paperwork in the mail on tuesday...a small stack of approx. 6 sheets of paper with only one sentence that was remotely positive (Thank you for your honorable service). Some times even something you've known was coming for a year and a half can sneak right up on you and smack you right in the face. My heart hurts from this loss...probably the biggest hate I have for this stupid disease is losing my military career. MS is a liveable disease...it takes things away and gives them back and is random as all hell...but it took one of my biggest joys. There is a pride in being a service member that you can't find in any other job...there is a pride in being a female service member that you can only understand after signing that contract. I never had to go anywhere unpleasant in my 6 years and 11 months (literally to the date) but if I had been called upon to do so I would have done it with every ounce of strength and courage I have. I did do a lot of great things while in the service...and I grew more as a person that I ever would have going to college first...I am grateful for every single memory and for every stripe I earned and for the opportunity to do it in the first place. But that doesn't change that I am pissed off that I was diagnosed with this stupid disease and that two little words were able to take it all away. I know I have been blessed with great things...like an incredibly supportive family, a boyfriend, and two of the most amazing children any mother could ask for. I will never ever say that I am unlucky...I am proud to be where I am and I will be the best stay at home mom the world has ever seen...but it still hurts. The Air Force was a huge part of me and a lifestyle that I will truly miss...I wouldn't trade my experiences as a dependant or a service member for anything. So the door has finally closed and the floor underneath it is wet with tears but I will go on. I will smile each day because God has blessed me with two reasons to do so...I will be the best at whatever comes next because my parents and the air force instilled in me very important core values. I am who I am because of the way I was raised and what the Air Force taught me at a young enough age for it to stick. I will miss it, but I will be okay.
Keep your chin up out there...tomorrow always brings new hope :)
No comments:
Post a Comment