I'm feeling a little spunky today (hence the obnoxious lime green color). I have been fighting a rather annoying spell of exhaustion lately...to the point where keeping my eyes open to take care of my little lovelies is difficult. But as any Mom knows...no matter how tired you are the show must go on. So today I decided that although rain was in the forecast I was going to get the kids, the dog and myself out of this house. Sometimes I think being a stay at home mom just adds to the fatigue from MS and well a little fresh air never hurt anyone. So off we went this morning to the lake to feed the ducks. It was a great time...granted the ducks were a little confused as to how they were supposed to eat and avoid the dog all at the same time. I was grateful for the dog because ducks can be brutal when bread is being tossed at them and I didn't want to tramatize our daughter the first time she ever got to feed them LOL. It was so nice being out in the cool breeze, which if you've been watching the news lately has been quite scarce in Colorado as of late. I had a small moment where I had to fight a maternal instinct and let Kenzie play...I should have seen it coming, as she loves water but I figured she would be distracted by feeding the ducks. So as we are standing there tossing bread, she realized she couldn't throw it quite as far as mommy...so off she goes into the water so she could get a little closer and get the bread to the ducks. At first I panicked because here I am with my four month old son on my chest in a pack and my almost 2 year old is walking into the water...if she decided to get a little too spunky I'd have to dive in with my son still in the pack. Nothing about that scenario sounds pleasant...someone is going to get way too much water in the face, and I'm pretty sure it would have been both of them. But I was a calm momma and took a deep breath and told her to stay close but that she could play in the water. She listened very well and only got the bottom of her dress wet once because she decided to squat in the water...no harm was done and she had a blast because she felt like she was getting to be independent. yay for a good time had by all.
As far as the MS is concerned...I just recently lost my health insurance which has put a bit of a damper on things. Obviously I cannot afford this disease...even someone well off would find it difficult. So I get to start over with the VA for the MS stuff because that is all that they will take care of...and as for some of the other issues I'm having they will just have to be put on hold. I have my ups and downs as far as this is concerned. I'm adding new symptoms to the list which is always concerning because it could be new lesions or it could just be an old lesion affecting new things. My face goes numb now...my tongue seems to be the most effected by this, to the point where things don't taste right or don't taste at all. Headaches are getting worse too. My brain doesn't always want to function correctly...I was backing out of the driveway the other day and spent a good 5 mins trying to remember which way I would need to turn the wheel to not hit another vehicle in the driveway. Moments like that are frustrating because they disappear not too long after they happen and all is back to normal, but you never know when a spell is gonna hit. Overall disease wise I am in kind of a slump...but what is meant to be will be and so I am trying to embrace the new shortcomings and press on. I cry when I feel like crying and make jokes the rest of the time.
I'm pretty sure I have two full time jobs...raising my kids and battling this disease...some days its hard to tell whose winning, but I won't give up.
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment