I haven't blogged in a little while...shame on me...but never fear my fellow Moms/MSers or a combination of the two I am back. lol. I come bearing a new symptom I am not fond of at all...and will of course be the reason for this blog. So I have been having difficulty swallowing for a few months now...the sensation is almost as though there is a lump of sorts in my throat. This according to the neurologist is a normal MS symptom so I was instructed to keep it in the back of my mind and chew things completely to avoid choking. Well about two and a half weeks ago as I was sitting up in the late evening hours, because I've also been having difficulty sleeping, I felt this strange sensation come over me...first the back of my neck starts to spasm and tense and then it wraps around following my jaw line which starts to feel numb...and then next thing I know I feel as though I am being choked and my throat feels like it is closing completely. I am not even going to begin to try and lie and say that it didn't scare the shit out of me...because it did. As a matter of fact it is by far the scariest MS symptom yet...and will be the first thing out of my mouth when I see the VA neurologist next friday. I immediately panicked and those of you with MS are going, oh no don't panic...best advice ever DO NOT PANIC...it just makes it last longer and seem twice as bad. Instead concentrate on deep breathing (afterall if you are still breathing then all is well). I thought that maybe this would just be another one of my token "symptoms of the day" (this is what I've started calling the random thing that only happens for a day or two and then disappears as fast as it came on)...however I didn't get so lucky. It seems as though this sensation is here to stay...it started in 15 to 20 min waves...now it can last anywhere from that 15mins to an hour and a half. And this last episode which was the longest its ever been gave me the opportunity to choke on food because of it...definitely not cool. Breathing seems to at least make me relax a little but it doesn't make the symptom stop...it still scares the shit out of me and I swallow every few minutes just to reassure myself I still can. It worries me that maybe there is a new active lesion to blame for this unwelcome symptom...but I will just have to wait and see. I'm looking forward to getting back on a treatment so I at least feel like I am trying to slow this disease down. Nobody in the world could prepare themselves for the ups and downs of this disease...but I am going to try as hard as I can to keep myself under control and take it one day at a time. So if you were out there thinking you were the only one this was happening to...know you are not alone...and if it scared you too don't feel bad because it is by far the worst feeling ever.
Keep your head held high out there...tomorrow brings opportunity to start fresh...focus on one day at a time <3
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